What is Confidence? More specifically, what is self-confidence? Self-confidence is generally feeling secure in your own abilities, your judgement and intellect. It is not arrogance or showing an offensive attitude of superiority. Confidence is a quiet inner knowledge that you are proficient, skilled, and able.
There are actually two types of self-confidence. General self-confidence and, specific self-confidence. General self-confidence is a collection of our own assessments about our past performance in several specific situations. If things turned out right most of the time, we can be self-assured that they will most likely work out well in the future. Thus, we are confident in our ability to handle many of the different situations we handle daily.
The second type of self-confidence is specific self-confidence. Specific self-confidence is gained by developing a particular aptitude or talent and being self-assured that in a unique setting or a situation requiring a specific talent, one can find success the majority of the time. Specific self-confidence is an important building block for general self-confidence. To quote the great tennis player, Arthur Ashe, “One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” Specific self-confidence helps us to discover and develop our capabilities so we can move forward. When we find specific successes, we learn what we are capable of and can take pride in our achievements. This contributes to our general self-confidence which gets stronger and stronger.
It is interesting to note that people with strong self-confidence do not feel the need to be overly aggressive when trying to get their individual or team goals accomplished. It is also true that those that are overly aggressive are many times, showing signs of a lack of confidence yet want to give the appearance of strong self-confidence.
In leadership, both general self-confidence and specific self-confidence are as important if not more important than knowledge or experience. This is because without self-confidence, we find it challenging to make tough decisions, lead with authority, get people to communicate candidly, and for followers to be open to feedback and constructive criticism.
One of our big challenges today is that young adults have been taught that the proverbial “bar” of success is no longer set. The bar is variable based on the circumstance. This situation has created a challenge for Generation Y/Millennium and Generation Z/Boomlets in the development of true general self-confidence. Using specific self-confidence as a building block, general self-confidence is difficult to attain in the current environment. If specific self-confidence is gained by developing a certain aptitude and being self-assured that, in a certain situation requiring that specific talent, one can find success, it becomes difficult to have that inner confidence if we don’t know the measure of true success. Today, the measure of true success is constantly shifting because modern society does not want anyone person to have more success than another. In this environment, how can that specific confidence be gained?
Generation Y/Millennium and Generation Z/Boomlet parents have tried to accident proof the younger generation’s world by covering all the bases, wrapping the young adults in a cocoon of “safe” decisions. This has created an environment and an understanding of these two generations that promotes behavior which is the antithesis of bold leadership. What separates those who have a need for that “safe space” from those who inspire with their ability to lead us into the unknown is self-confidence. While the fearful will agonize and always make the safe choice, the confident will act and lead. Confidence does not come from a perfect family, a perfect childhood nor, is it something you are born with. Confidence comes straight from disciplined personal accountability.
Leadership is about having the confidence to make and commit to a decision, to a goal and in most cases to the team. Without leadership, all the empowerment and communication in the world will not make a difference. It is that self-confidence that allows individuals to provide what people expect from a strong leader, the ability to commit without the safety net.